I begin this post by examining a subject near and dear to everyone's hearts, that of relationships. Inevitably though, you will encounter some sort of conflict and turmoil through which you must navigate. Below, please find a handy list of "Dos" and "Don'ts" when you hit a rough spell.
DO
1. Tell the other person that they are the only one for you. This can be to a girlfriend/boyfriend to try to catch them off guard after a torrent of angry words, or to catch a boss or co-worker off-guard in order to gauge how much they actually care about you vs. your job performance.
2. Tell the other person "Is this the best use of our time?" If the person is rational, they may agree with you that wasting life's hours arguing is a pointless exercise, and defuse the fight. If they are not rational, be prepared to hear such words/phrases as " a**hole", "I can't believe you" or "No, the police will be here shortly".
3. Get really drunk. Most coherent and rational decisions can be made during drinking, especially when combined with the stress of conflict.
4. Ask the other person to list out what exactly is bothering them. By the time they're likely to be done with such a list, enough time will have passed that they'll have forgotten what the original fight was about
DON'T
1. Apologize. It makes you look weak and ineffectual
2. Ask advice. At this point if you can't figure out your own mind, you're better off staying silent and looking intensely at the other person.
3. Ask how the other person feels. It's a complete waste of RNA as well, as if you're going to remember in 24 hours how your sister felt when you drank the last of the apple juice w/o replacing the carton.
4. Stay silent. You need to tell the other person how you feel, preferably in a loud tone. Punctuate each sentence with a swear word or an analogy as well such as " I can't believe you f****** tried to call me at work" or " This is similar to when Spartacus was doing battle with the ancient Roman general Hysperius, and his Lt. Governor...". By convoluting the logic as well as throwing in several intense words, you also the increase the opportunity that the other person will become confused, think your point is valid, or forget what the original argument was about.
Utilizing this simple list can not only transform the way you deal with individuals, but deepen and strengthen your relationships.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Harles: Dealing with people, the balance of the first meeting
One of the most important thing when first meeting someone is to make an impression. You want them to remember not only your face, but your name. As with all aspects of your life, balance is important in an introduction. I am not speaking of waiting your turn to speak after you have spoken, although that is also important. The give and take of an initial conversation plays a key role in forming a lasting idea of you in a business partners mind. Here, rather, I am talking about literal balance.
Think for a moment about the last time you lost your balance. It was no doubt embarrassing and a little frightening. You likely became extremely conscious of the people around you, checking to see who was looking and who wasn't. What if there was a way to put this same awareness into a new potential client or business partner. There IS.
When you first go in for a handshake during an introduction it is often a good strategy to slip your hand past the hand of the person you are meeting. Slide it up their extended arm, across their chest and up their neck so your palm is touching their left cheek. At the same time step to your left and slide around them to their side, pulling them toward you and tilting them. They will feel off balance, panic, and begin looking around to see who is witnessing this. Use the hand on their face to pull their head around to face you. Say calmly, "I'm (name) and I've got you. I'm not going to let you fall, right now or in the figurative business sense. You can COUNT on it." Emphasize the word 'count'. It makes people think of money and will provide an added boost to what is already a great introduction.
Most people at this point will feel two things:
1. They can rely on you in both a professional and casual setting.
2. You are going to make them very rich if they stick with you.
Now, slap them. Slap them with that same hand that you were using to cradle their face. This teaches them not to get too comfortable, a major source of lost income and sometimes complete failure in business. Tilt them back onto their feet. Shake hands heartily, state your name one more and you are well on your way to a long and fruitful business partnership with your new colleague.
A few quick notes: If you try this with, say, a really fat business woman and you accidentally drop her just run. Throwing a stack of papers into the air as make your rapid exit will help distract people and make for a much more thrilling spectacle. I will cover more about this in a future blog entitled: The Stack of Papers - A Ream of Blessings
Think for a moment about the last time you lost your balance. It was no doubt embarrassing and a little frightening. You likely became extremely conscious of the people around you, checking to see who was looking and who wasn't. What if there was a way to put this same awareness into a new potential client or business partner. There IS.
When you first go in for a handshake during an introduction it is often a good strategy to slip your hand past the hand of the person you are meeting. Slide it up their extended arm, across their chest and up their neck so your palm is touching their left cheek. At the same time step to your left and slide around them to their side, pulling them toward you and tilting them. They will feel off balance, panic, and begin looking around to see who is witnessing this. Use the hand on their face to pull their head around to face you. Say calmly, "I'm (name) and I've got you. I'm not going to let you fall, right now or in the figurative business sense. You can COUNT on it." Emphasize the word 'count'. It makes people think of money and will provide an added boost to what is already a great introduction.
Most people at this point will feel two things:
1. They can rely on you in both a professional and casual setting.
2. You are going to make them very rich if they stick with you.
Now, slap them. Slap them with that same hand that you were using to cradle their face. This teaches them not to get too comfortable, a major source of lost income and sometimes complete failure in business. Tilt them back onto their feet. Shake hands heartily, state your name one more and you are well on your way to a long and fruitful business partnership with your new colleague.
A few quick notes: If you try this with, say, a really fat business woman and you accidentally drop her just run. Throwing a stack of papers into the air as make your rapid exit will help distract people and make for a much more thrilling spectacle. I will cover more about this in a future blog entitled: The Stack of Papers - A Ream of Blessings
Harles: Making money off success, and why we don't do that...
One of the best ways to make an amazing amount of money is by teaching others how to succeed. By distributing knowledge of how to live, work and play for a fee one can become wealthy beyond their wildest dreams without ever having to take their own advice or actually doing anything. 90 minutes in a recording studio and a handful of interesting quips from bathroom readers along with a sob story about how you got started is all that is needed to become a billionaire. Stoto and I are not charging anything for this site, so you can therefore assume that all of the ideas, life lessons and motivational speeches presented henceforth are 100 percent legitimate.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Stoto: Prelude
I’ve got 500 words to tell the internet generation something exciting/new/informative/catchy/awe-inspiring. Something that will grab the reader’s attention, spin it around on its proverbial head, and leave them wanting more similar to a junkie needing a fix.
Jeebus that’s awful. Let me start again.
The question is, what words of wisdom can you leave someone after 29 years on the planet? How can you impact a younger generation with your experiences to help them avoid the trials/tribulations and share in your success?
That’s somewhat better…now I just sound like I’m some douchebag that’s accomplished numerous things and am sitting somewhere counting my money and resting on my yacht.
We pick up this story with our hero journeying through Texas…
Not even close.
Enough of that nonsense. This blog is to show two viewpoints about practical issues that they don’t teach you about in school. You may identify with the viewpoints, dislike them, or you may think either or both of us is out in the desert taking peyote in a sweat lodge. Whatever….point is you’re going to be entertained.
More of my personality involved, cut and dried, tells the readership what to expect…90% of our viewership probably just quit reading with this approach. The other 10% that made it thus far….kudos.
Welcome to Wisdom: By Stoto and Harles. There’s something here for everyone.
Terrible 2nd sentence.
Welcome to Wisdom: By Stoto and Harles. “Everything you need to know that they never taught you in school.”
Good enough.
Jeebus that’s awful. Let me start again.
The question is, what words of wisdom can you leave someone after 29 years on the planet? How can you impact a younger generation with your experiences to help them avoid the trials/tribulations and share in your success?
That’s somewhat better…now I just sound like I’m some douchebag that’s accomplished numerous things and am sitting somewhere counting my money and resting on my yacht.
We pick up this story with our hero journeying through Texas…
Not even close.
Enough of that nonsense. This blog is to show two viewpoints about practical issues that they don’t teach you about in school. You may identify with the viewpoints, dislike them, or you may think either or both of us is out in the desert taking peyote in a sweat lodge. Whatever….point is you’re going to be entertained.
More of my personality involved, cut and dried, tells the readership what to expect…90% of our viewership probably just quit reading with this approach. The other 10% that made it thus far….kudos.
Welcome to Wisdom: By Stoto and Harles. There’s something here for everyone.
Terrible 2nd sentence.
Welcome to Wisdom: By Stoto and Harles. “Everything you need to know that they never taught you in school.”
Good enough.
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